A DONKEY LIFE

Playful Heart

By Davison Stivers

My name’s McCabe. This bein’ Valentine’s Day, I got t’ thinkin’ ‘bout my life an’ all the things that I’d gone through, the times I didn’t have love and the times I began to learn about love. Love as I’ve learnt is sharin’ a Playful Heart. For myself I sees that I am mighty lucky, but I sure didn’t see it that way when I was much younger. Ya see, I didn’t have what you might call an auspicious beginnin’ like ya might a thought. Nope, can’t say as I had a very good beginnin’ at all.

Well, when I was born, I had to go to the hospital because there was complications. I neared to died right then. But I didn’t, but I was real sick. Had to stay there for a long time, I was told, and on the day I was well enough to go home, both my parents got themselves killed in some accident with a train. I had no kin that anyone knew of, so I was sent to an orphanage. My earliest memories was of bein’ cold and hungry. All us kids were. Don’t remember ever bein’ held or talked to in a soft voice. That was durin’ the times when parents and those carin’ for kids were instructed to not pick up children, not to let them cry, not cuddle ‘em. Be stern so’s they’ll grow to be strong. Well, my caretakers did all that with a passion and the only sounds I heard was "Don’t do that!" or "Get away from me!" I was there for a long time an’ I cried a lot - mostly by myself an’ I learnt to fear and expect the worst. Then the big war broke out an’ when I was near old enough I went down to join up. Went into the Navy where I figures that at least I’ll have a dry bed to bunk in. I s’pose all recruits were treated like I was, long watches, sudden inspections where somethin’ was always wrong with my bunk or gear or uniform. Lots of KP duty. But finally boot camp was over and I got transferred to a destroyer, the USS Yarnall, DD541, a 2100 tin can with its single 5" gun turrets fore and aft. It looked big to me when I first saw it. But it shrunk a lot after I had been aboard awhile an’ got to see some really big ships, like cruisers and carriers.

Well, anyway after a short training at sea we set out for the Pacific war. When we steamed into Pearl Harbor, I was lookin’ forward to some leave on shore. But as I expected, it didn’t happen. I had the duty an’ had to stay aboard to guard the ship. That next mornin’ as the other men talked ‘bout all they had done and seen ashore, and whettin’ my appetite for the afternoon’s shore leave, we got orders to weigh anchor and off we went. It was no less than I’d figured would happen, though I hoped this time it woulda been different. Well, we joined up with a lot of other ships, and we were stationed on the perimeter of the convoy to watch for subs. We spotted one an’ took after him. My station was on the fantail at one of the depth charge racks. We steamed around a bit an’ I guess we lost him, ‘cause we weren’t doin’ anything. Finally, we gave up the search and the Captain had us stand down from General Quarters. I had just fastened down the depth charge rack, when I felt the ship’s screws rev up an’ the stern went down as we picked up speed. The General Alarm went off again an’ I started to set up the rack when I look out on our beam an’ there was a wake comin’ straight for our midships.

When it hit, there was one big explosion, followed by a huge ball of fire and smoke. It musta hit us right at the center, the engine room. I got knocked right into the water an’ when I come up I saw the ship fold up in the middle and sink. A piece of a raft was about all that remained, which I swam to and climbed on. I called but no one answered. It seemed I was the only one left. The sun was hot and I was thirsty. That night I saw lightening off in the distance but no clouds came my way. I guessed this was th’ way I was gonna die: alone, starvin’ and dyin’ of thirst. It just couldn’t get worse, but it did. The next day was worse, hotter and I was drier. For two days I bobbed out in that ocean with nothin’ to drink. I fell asleep that next night figurin’ this time I was sure a goner.

When the sun rose again, though, I heard the surf. I opened my eyes and looked about in amazement. I had been washed ashore on some island. I struggled up the beach and saw a small stream - water. Oh, God, how good it tasted. Then I felt how hungry I was - and how weak I felt. It was then I saw them. Natives come runnin’ down to me. They looked fierce and angry, I remember thinkin’ this was finally it, so I musta fainted, ‘cause I don’t remember anything until I wakes to the sound of drums and chanting. I opened my eyes and two of the most gorgeous girls I think I have ever seen were sitting by me with food and drink. Now, at long last, I am sure that I’d died and gone to heaven. After eating the best meal of my life, I slept some more. When I wake, these two women lead me out to where all the others were. They were setting up a feast. I could see that I was to be the guest of honor - an’ I don’t mean by bein’ their meal. Man, what a celebration and that night, one of them women stayed with me. So I slept, more deep and more satisfied than anytime.

Sometime long before the dawn, a big, sudden hurricane swooped down and knocked down my hut and pushed me off a cliff an’ the next thing I know is I’m holdin’ on to a log, drifin’ away from the island. I am near to tears at this an’ I looked up into that sky and shouted, "Why, God, why are you doin’ this to me? Why me?" Then the damnedest thing happen: The turbulent seas calmed and an openin’ appeared in the clouds near above me. I swear a light came down from that openin’ and surrounded me. Then the boomin’ voice says, "I don’t know. There is just something about you that pisses me off!"

I gotta tell ya, that got my attention! An’ it got me to thinkin’ ‘bout the way I’d been lookin’ at life and things an’ how I had been pissin’ God off at me. I’d always thought that I was just unlucky. But just maybe it weren’t luck at all, only the way I’d been lookin’ at things.

Some years later I married my first wife. I remember sayin’ later I married her hopin’ for the better an’ fearin’ for the worse. But in my wildest dreams, I never thought she’d just stay the same! But I didn’t. I had an urgin’ to change, find out things I didn’t know about m’self. So as our paths parted, we agreed to go separate ways.

After that experience I travelled a bit and went to the Middle East. I came to a walled city and outside the entrance sat a wizened old man. For some reason he interested me, so I sat down where I could watch and listen to him. Soon a couple came up to him and asked him a question, "What kind of people live here?"

He looked up at them and asked, "What kind of people were there from where you come?"

"Oh, bad people, so many bad people. We had to go away."

"That is too bad," he said. "Only bad people live here, too."

A later in the day another couple approached him and asked, "What kind of people live here?"

He looked up at these two and asked, "What kind of people were there from where you come?"

"Oh, only good people, many good people."

"That is good," he said. " Because only good people live here, too."

I learned much from the wise man that day: If I enter with one set of my heart, I will meet those of a similar set of heart. If I enter with a playful heart, I will find playful hearts in those around me.

I saw this work for me one day a couple of years back. I wanted to sell my small boat, the outboard motor, and a trailer for the boat. I figured real serious like that $200 was a good deal. Fact is these were worth much more than what I was goin’ to ask an’ I figured - all logical an’ all - it was a fair price. So I placed my ad and waited for the phone to ring. It did but those callers only asked me questions and made no offers. I stewed about this for a while then I got to thinkin’: Maybe I could enter into this with a playful attitude. Then I gets an idea an’ I changes the ad, laughin’ at the idea. The changed ad I wrote said, "For sale. Small boat with outboard motor. $200. Will throw in boat trailer for free." I sold it that day to the first caller. I got what I wanted and felt good about it. The fellow that bought them got what he wanted and he felt great about it, too.

Yes, sir. I ‘spect that’s one o’ the best things I learnt: To greet life with a playful heart.