My name’s McCabe. This bein’ Easter time an’ most folks seem to be celebratin’ either Easter or the Passover, I kinda thought back to a very meanin’ful time for me. Back, oh maybe, ten year ago, I was invited t’ go with a special friend - well, he was more than just a friend, he was like a teacher or mentor. He’d asked if I wanted t’ go with him on a special trip he was takin’. Natur’ly, I accepted. When I was with him, I always seemed to learn somethin’ ‘bout myself or Life or some aspect of just bein’.

So we went up into the mountains one sunny mornin’. The sky was blue with only patches of clouds about. The forest we hiked through were of pine, cedar, alder. The alders were beginnin’ to green out. The air was crisp and cool. Just a perfect day for hikin’. I don’t think either of us said word one. He was like that now and then. Just silent. But with him it wasn’t the silence of bein’ ignored. I felt as we were a couple of men connected in what we were doin’, sharin’ a purpose of action, movin’ toward some common goal. I’d learned that his silence was a need he had, of bein’ by himself on the one hand but stayin’ in touch with me on the other at the same time. I remember, once, when my dad and I went fishin’. We just sat on the dock and fished. No words passed between us that mornin’. But that was one of my best memories of me and him. That specialness was rare, but that time stuck with me as a warm and fillin’ soup.

But back to my campin’ with my friend. We’d travelled up that mountain for, hmm maybe, five hours, when he paused and pointed out to an overhang just ahead. I got that was where we were goin’. We climbed up and he sat down and looked out over the valley below. I sat beside him and gazed out also. I was aware of how tired my body was after that walk, how good it felt to sit here and rest, how warm the rock was. A small breeze blew by us. There were no clouds in the expansive sky. It seemed we were the only ones on this planet. Nothin’ seemed to move. An’ as I sat there, I began to forget the long climb an’ my tiredness. There was only now. I felt so quiet inside. I just absorbed this stillness, drinkin’ it in like a thirsty man drinkin’ in the cool water of a mountain stream. Yes sir, that moment was so strong. I knew it would stay with me forever; I wanted to keep it with me. Nothin’ was goin’ to shake this off me. This was my moment, as though it was made just for me. I knew I was immersed in Life, in Spirit, in everything. I realized that I was Spirit. Spirit and I were one. I knew this to be more true than anything I had felt or experience before.

In this awareness of oneness, I suddenly knew the real meanin’ of the story I once heard: A fish was swimmin’ by a pier when it overhears two men talkin’ an’ one man talked about the wonderful ocean he had been in. In fact he talked on about it so much that the fish was so intrigued that he swam back to his fellow fish and told them what he had heard and that he was goin’ that day to discover that marvelous ocean and see what it was. The other fish, of course, thought he was a bit fishy, but they wished him well, an’ the little fish swam off. Years went by an’ finally the little fish returned. The other fish surrounded him an’ plied him with all kinds o’ questions. "Didja find that ocean? What was it like? Was it as marvelous as you’d heard?" The fish looked at the others and replied, "Yes, I found it. But you’d never believe what I found." So the fish turned around an’ swam off. The other fish only looked at him and wondered.

I was feelin’ like that fish who discovered the ocean was what he existed in. It was all about him. This Spirit I was now feelin’ was all around me. I existed entirely in it an’ could not exist without it. In this state I became aware of no longer bein’ bound by my body an’ I seemed to drift somewhat above it.

Well, when I finally became conscious of my surroundin’s again, the sun had gone just below the horizon. The rock was still warm, the stillness still enfolded us, breeze still touched my skin in passin’.

To this day I cannot tell you how I spent that night nor what the return journey was like. I don’t even know if my friend and I talked an’, if we did, what about. It is as though that experience had completely altered my view of the world. I was at peace with myself and with the world. I loved everything and everyone. I loved everything so much I even loved my ex-wife. I had found a depth within myself that I had only heard about. Now I had experienced it. I knew I had changed completely.

My next recall of the physical world is getting down to where we had parked the car. As we neared the car, somethin’ seemed off, but I thought it was only my new, altered state of consciousness, my new state of lovin’. We tossed our gear into the back seat. But somethin’ tickled my thinkin’, somethin’ was amiss, different, an’ it wasn’t from my high plain of viewin’. I closed the car door and took a couple of step backward. I saw my friend standin’ on the other side of the car just watchin’ me. I saw no expression on his face. He just seemed to be waitin’ for somethin’.

It was when I looked back at the car that I saw what had been botherin’ me. Some God-damned son-of-a-bitch had slashed two of my tires! I exploded, I swore, I cursed every mother-fuckin’ SOB that had done this. I stomped around, shakin’ my fists in the air, lookin’ at those sorry tires. I wanted to get my hands about their scrawny necks and see their eyes poppin’ out o’ their heads. I wanted to see them roastin’ on a spit! I wanted ...

Then I looked over at my friend. He just stood there as before.

"McCabe," he said leanin’ on the roof of the car, "Back on the mountain, you had an experience of another reality. But that reality is fiercely defended by the Guardians. They do not let just anyone enter that reality an’ if one does enter the person wont’ be able to hold onto it unless that person fully embodies it. It is so with all changes of awareness. We will be tested: Do we really know the truth of the new reality? For every change in awareness, we are tested by Guardians an’ these Guardians will appear as people who berate us, make fun of us, get angry with us, tell us we are fools, or they appear as events such as with these tires. Can we see, hear, experience what happens and still maintain our connection to the new understandings? That is what the Guardians will do. They would have us strengthen our connection."

The fire of my anger died out an’ I hung my head in sadness. From so high on the mountain to so low in my valley. But I felt the spark of a new understanding and a determination to be on the lookout for other Guardians as I went along. I didn’t want to be defeated by them again!